Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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