I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
