Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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