I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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