Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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