Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
