we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
