i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
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