I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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