apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
i've created a new STD.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
