I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
