That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
