What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
