Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
