am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Randomize
