I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
