Only a mothe r could love this liver
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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