found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
