Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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