I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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