it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
