I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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