dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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