So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
