Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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