i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
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