I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
