im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
