Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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