Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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