you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Welp...herpes.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
