am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize
