never play flip cup with pint glasses
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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