Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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