your room smells of hookers.
And success
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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