that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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