Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
