Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
