I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
