Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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