yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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