It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
