you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
