Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
