So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
You took a bar mat shot.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Randomize