You can't motorboat a personality
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
