We named our party play list daddy issues
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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