I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
