Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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