"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Quick, to the slutcave!
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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