You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize