that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
