my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
This is my gift to your gina
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
