I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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