he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Be still, my beating vagina.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
as a side note pls kill me
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
