I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
