I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize