dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
