I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
