I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
