you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
