if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I pour the whiskey from now on
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
