Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
